Energy Vampires

Energy vampires are people in our lives that drain us of our time, compassion and emotional energy. Visits and encounters with these types of people can leave us mentally and physically drained. Some of us can feel ill at times after dealing with an energy vampire type. While in turn, they will be temporarily uplifted up by our words and actions. This uplifting can be temporary because energy vampires have a lower vibrational energy; since that good energy feeling only lasts them for a short period of time. They have a frequent need for the selfish use of our positive energy for themselves.

We will have motivated and advised to help them move through their situation. But, energy vampires are generally not happy people and will become repeat offenders if we let them. In their tool bag, an energy vampire comes bearing the strains of their issues, problems, complaints, and general negativity. Energy vampires can rob us of our joy and happiness and they play on our empathy and compassion.

In my experiences, there are five types of energy vampires: the complainer, the problem magnet, the gossiper, the victim, and the bully. We may not know that we have been hit by an energy vampire until it is too late. Some ways to identify energy vampires and handle them are below:

1.The Complainer
Complainers have more problems than they can handle and they find issues even in simple things. Complainers will come to you and dump their issues in your lap. They will wait for you to pour out as much compassion as possible and leave after their cups have been filled. They may be forever grateful for the listening, the advice, and maybe even the money given to help them. However, the problems never stop and they return because you are a good listener. Plus, they frequently need that motivational refill. Conversations with the complainer can be tiresome and leave you wondering why in the world did they not take your advice the first time. They like to be around you and value your advice, but often just need a listening ear/time rather than your advice.

Solution: Listen to them if you absolutely feel it is necessary but keep it brief. Shorten the session with the complainer. Also, know that if get an invite from them for a social gathering it will more than likely turn into a session. Get busy. Stay busy. Listen a little and after a while stop responding during the conversation. Nod at the appropriate times but checkout often until they are finished talking.

2. The Problem Magnet

The problem magnet has a different issue each time you come in contact with them. It could also be that their last problem has exploded and is causing more havoc in their lives. They will reach out to you for advice, a place to live, and money depending on the issue. If you are a really good listener, you will become their go to person. You will find yourself talking them through things and helping them solve their problems. The problem magnet will depend on you just as a patient depends on their therapist.

Solution: Learn to keep these conversations and interactions brief. This energy vampire type will learn to solve their own issues. Repeat yours advice. For instance, you can begin to say, “like I told you when you broke your shoe heel, everything will be fine.” Bless their hearts, but the problem sessions must be kept to a minimum for you to maintain peace.

3. The Gossiper
The gossiping vampire likes to talk about everything and everyone. This vampire type always comes carrying dramatic bone stories that they must share. Their stories are usually packed with their own characterizations to achieve a good dramatic effect. These stories are said to be one-of-a-kind and the listeners must not reveal the story nor the bone carrier. The gossiper’s job is to pick-up bones and carry them to their next stop.

Solution: Beware of joining in on these conversation because you will get pulled into them unknowingly. Do not offer your opinions or comment much on the story. Your comments will become part of the story being told to the next person although you have been sworn to secrecy. Remember, gossiper’s name names. Keep your name out of it. Limit your interactions. Keep your responses to utterings such as “OK.” “Alright.” “Well now.” or even “I have to take this call. Call be back later.” It is your job to ensure that later almost never comes back around for the storytime.

4. The Victim
Victims have a “woe is me” attitude. They feel as if they are totally being wronged by others. They sometimes forget that their actions may be placed them in situations. However for the life of them, they cannot understand why they go through certain things and they believe the they are being punished. The situations and circumstances they are in or have caused is everyone else’s fault instead of a result of their own faults. Their negativity or undesirable habits have nothing to do with the things that have stirred in their lives.

Solution: Do not get sucked into the drama. Understand that some things are not fair, however you will not be able to save this energy vampire type from all of their situations. Allow them room to learn from their mistakes. You may point out certain things from their situations (from the victim side or the opposing side), but it’s not worth telling them that they are wrong in any situation. The victim type may to through the same problem more the once. If this is the case, tell them to look for the lesson in these situations and let them own the lesson and story.

5. The Bully (Control Freak)
The bully likes you and can be appear nice at times. However, when they want their way, they will go to the extreme to get it. They mean business and intend to have things their way. They will simply tell you how to act, what to say, and what ever else they want you to do. This controlling type of energy vampire will rob you of your time if you let them. They want you to sit around waiting for them to need your advice. You must always lend a listening ear to them, and they will tell you your ideas are their ideas.

For instance, they will call you to “just run some ideas by you” for the sake of them validating their own feelings. Their response will be, “that’s basically what I thought, but I just wanted to get your take on it” or “I’m glad I called you, because I just wanted to talk my way through it”. Why do they do this? Because they totally believe that they are right, and everyone else is wrong. Similar thinking to the victim energy vampire type, but the bully wants to give off that that they are in full control at all times.

Solution: Run. Yes, seriously, run along your way and do not look back. If this energy vampire type is a close relative, try limiting the time you spend in their presence. This type of relationship (or interaction) is not healthy. You will give it a go but at some point one of you will fall back in the relationship because the controlling personality is just to strong and overbearing. You will begin to feel that you are sacrificing everything to be around them, while the bully tells you that they love the fact that you are so “versatile” and “easy-going”.

Lastly, set boundaries if you feel you have constant contact with any energy vampire type. Be mindful of your time with them. Distract yourself while with them as to not absorb their energy. You may also want to distance yourself from them for a while (if not permanently) when things start to affect you in ways that are unhealthy. Learn to slip away when necessary by disappearing in plain sight.

Your peace of mind belongs to your. Use it wisely.